AFL Results Finals Week 2 - Top Four Through

As expected the top four are through to the Preliminary Finals this weekend. Port Adelaide went closest to an upset and might have done so if not for the 3rd quarter when the Cats smashed them. The Swans were the big performers of the semi's, in a team missing key stars LRT, Goodsey and Sam Reid, then losing Tippett and Mitchell in the first quarter, they took Carlton apart, embarrassing their high draft picks with some typical "Bloods" footy. McVeigh's 20 possessions in the 2nd quarter a finals record, his total of 42 for the match only second to Dane Swan's 43 in a finals match. And he did it on one knee.

This week again sees the top two teams favoured to win.  The Hawks are set to finally beat the Kennett Curse after 11 losses. However last time they met in round 15 this year, the Cats had their measure leading by 33 points before getting across the line by 10.

Barich pledges to paint house with toofpick

The Swans are facing mission impossible at Subi this week against a rested Dockers side. The only thing going for them is 80s Eagle Adrian Barich's call that he'll paint a mates house with a toothbrush if Freo get done.  After the Swan's injuries he amended this statement to using a toothpick instead.  Go Swannies.

Remember that great prizes are up for grabs in the Uglybustards "Show Us Your Footy Finals Form" Photo Comp which closes Monday 30th September after the GF. Prizes outweigh entries at this stage so plenty of chances to win that Uglybustards T-shirt and stubbyholder. If you've taken any snaps during the finals series so far, send 'em in! You can Enter here on Facebook, tweet your snap with #showyourform, or email me.

Dim the lights Zorba, and let's roll the tape of the Semi Final highlights, and don't forget to read on for the latest Uglybustards tipping results. BTW Westhoff's last korter potshot aint bad.

2013 AFL Finals Week 1 - Upsets Abound

A sensational start to the 2013 AFL Finals Series saw Collingwood booted out, Geelong beaten at the Cattery for only the 2nd time in over 40 games, and a 9th placed team in the Blues create history and progress to the 2nd week.  The only match that went to script was the Hawks belting a depleted Swans.

Sweet hangover after Blues win

Having tipped 2 of those 3 "upsets" I can tell you the writing was on the wall. Freo has the talent to go all the way and the Blues had the wood on Richmond. The one that got me was Port Power pounding the 'Pies. It is quite incredible that Collingwood who were in great form just a few weeks back have now finished 8th, while Carlton, a team they smashed by 41 points recently, is into the semis. Ken Hinkley gets my nod as coach of the year over Rossy Lyon at this stage, getting the Power up from the footy wilderness.

As for the Blues come from behind win on the weekend, I celebrated long and hard and paid for it dearly on Monday morning (see pic). I'll be at ANZ Stadium with Little Bustard this week to see Carlton down the Swans and will no doubt have an even bigger hangover next Monday.

Don't forget the Uglybustards "Show Us Your Footy Finals Form" Photo Comp is up and running this finals series with great prizes, and entries are literally flooding in.


Read on for a video review of eight telling plays in each of the Finals matches on the weekend, and for the latest Uglybustards tipping results.  Great highlights including a Heath Shaw brain explosion.

Roll the tape Monopoly...

AFL Results R23 - Blues do a Bradbury

As well documented on Twitter, the Blues did a Bradbury last week thanks to Hirdy & co, then almost threw it away in a thrilling weekend of footy where the permutations experts were going haywire.

Malthouse does a Bradbury

There was Ross Lyon keeping half his team in cotton wool and expecting the Cats to easily put Brisbane away. He was almost made to look silly by forfeiting a home final when the Lions scared the bejeezus out of both the Cats and Blues supporters. The Lions should've taken the points to temporarily nab 8th spot but for Ryan Lester's shot being touched on the line. At this same point in time the Power had jumped the blues booting the 1st 3 goals and looked well and truly home and hosed by midway in the 3rd quarter, leading by 39 points. While the unlucky Lions wouldve been feeling sick and sorry for themselves, this paved the way for the Crows who were taking on a decimated Ducks team at Subi, meaning they only had to win by a few goals to bridge the % gap Carlton had on them. And Norf were waiting in the wings on Sunday, needing a win over Collingwood which they duly delivered in a game where both teams wore teflon the tackle count was so low.  But somehow the Blues came back as Port ran out of puff, and yet still the Blues were incredibly lucky Broadbent's shot hit the post with seconds remaining.

Norf, the Crows, the Lions and Carlton all showed they would've put up a better show than a emotionally shot and dispirited Essendon in the finals. It was just a matter of which one.

Let's take a look at the AFL's top ten moments of the weekend, featuring the boundary umpie from 1979 who assisted Eddie Betts with a goal of the year nomination, and Jeremy Howe's usual array of screamers. One day he's gonna jump clean outa the stadium.

Roll the tape Oligarkis, then read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R21 - Freo Firm Favourites To Top Table

Get on your nearest AFL Ladder Predictor - the Fremantle Dockers can finish top. Yes that's right, and you heard it first here on Uglybustards.  All it takes is Hawks to lose to Norf and Swans, Swans to scrape home against the Cats and Hawks, Cats to lose to Swans then beat Brisbane, and for Freo to thrash Port and St Kilda.  This puts Freo on top, same points as Swans but with a healthier percentage. The top 4 finishes up Freo, Swans, Cats, Hawks with a couple of very interesting Qualifying Finals in week one of the finals series.

Ladder Prediction R21

The bottom half of the 8 is also looking very interesting. Richmond should beat Essendon and the Giants comfortably, keeping its percentage above Collingwood who face the Ducks and Norf.  The Dons will probably stumble into 7th with six losses on the trot, with Carlton and Port to play off in what could well be an Elimination Final at Aami Stadium before the real thing happens.  The winner will most likely play the Tigers, which I'm sure they'd prefer over Collingwood.  The Pies should pumble Essendon in the other Elimination Final as the Dons scandal-plagued season splutters to an end.

What's your prediction?

On to the highlights tape and Cyril celebrates the start of the EPL with some exquisite soccer skills, he played the oval ball as it were round, beat two defenders and got past the goalie to slot a major. Casboult's wasn't too bad either except he was offside.  Roll the tape Zenon, then read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R20 - Cooney Crushes Carlton

Lots of 50/50 games this week which were hard to pick. Poor old Norf cant take a trick losing another close one to the Crows, the Magpies surprised everyone with a convincing win over the Swans, the Bombers look like the year is starting to take its toll as they got smashed by the Ducks, and the Bulldogs crushed an unconvincing Carlton.

Judd caught out

Malted Outhouse can smugly say he is happy with the process, the ladder is irrelevant and that Carlton continue to improve under his tutelage.  But as the gulf between the contenders and the Blues widens, our sources here at Uglybustards have uncovered a potential cause for the Blues downward spiral, and that is their nutritional program!  Full of Mars Bars!

In fact it's not much different from the Blues of the 70s as far as one-dimensional diets go, but instead of Mars Bars envisage cans of VB. How soft has this once great team become?

Not many outstanding highlights this week except to say Adam Cooney is back with a vengeance. If he didn't get the 3 Brownlow votes I'll go he. Freo look set for a top 2 spot as the Swans, Cats and Hawks are yet to play each other, while the Dockers face the behemoths of Melbourne and St Kilda, with Port Adelaide at Patersons. Roll the tape Olympiodorus and read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Results R17 - Ablett in doubt with Leather Poisoning

As Rex Hunt used to say regularly about God; "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABLETT!!!!"
Another incredible performance by one Gary Ablett jnr to down the 'pies, sew up the Brownlow, and this week he plays his 248th game this weekend drawing level with his old man's tally. At least the Blues finally face a team coming off a high instead of on the rebound. Although how that affects the little maestro in Ablett and his ridiculously talented charges O'Meara, Prestia et al remains to be seen.

In other round 17 games Richmonds Jake King took 18 of the shortest steps in the book before kicking truly against Freo, Norf's Lindsay Thomas showed the Blues he couldn't be tackled in a telephone box, and St Kilda's Jack Steven showed Port a clean pair of heels to boot a magnificent major in a riveting last quarter where Justin 'The Hoff' Westhoff got the Power over the line at the death.

All this and more on the the round 17 highlights reel. Flick the switch Aesop. Read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

R16 AFL Results - Narcoleptic Norf Lose Luscious Lead in Lions Loss

Norf have done it again, the fourth time this year they've blown a 30 point lead, a team which has been called 'bipolar' as a compliment. Much the same can be said of Brisbane with another huge last quarter comeback, with Vossy now having similar victories over both Chris and Brad Scott, his old premiership team mates. The two teams find themselves with 6 wins and 9 losses, but would have to win all games from here to make finals.

The Blues had their first win in 5 weeks if you include the bye, and you have to go back to the bad old days of 2007 for a longer drought. While fans were ecstatic at rekindling their finals chances, look who they beat; 16th placed Saints with only 3 wins to their name. Norf will probably cream Carlton Friday, they did this time last year.

The Blues / Saints clash was also the battle for top place on the 'Frees Against' ladder and Carlton took top spot with a narrow 18-16 win, with St Kilda dropping to 3rd and the Lions claiming 2nd. As expected, the West Coast Ducks remain in last place.

The highlight of the weekend was Ashton Agar's near ton on debut, and the lowlight the deficiencies of Hawkeye, which clearly lost us the first Ashes test. It's such a shame Demetriou has decided to trial Hawkeye instead of listening to my advice to use sharknets as the defining goal review mechanism.

Roll the round 16 highlights reel Vasili. Check out the Bombers' freaky goals, Dane Swan on fire and Pearce Hanley for Brisbane, fast becoming the best ever Irish export in AFL. Read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

R15 AFL Results - Farcical Frees as Umps Interchange Error Cannot Curtail Kennett Curse

What a weekend of footy. The Kennett Curse continues for the 11th time despite the ridiculous interchange error by the AFL steward, not to mention the outrageous 'deliberate out of bounds' call against Kelly. The Cats overcame what looked like the Kennett Curse in Reverse for a while there, proving they'll be hard to beat in September, perhaps securing yet another flag in an odd year.

In other news Norf have come storming back into finals contention, karma is served on Jobe Watson, the Giants were denied their first win, pipped by the Bulldogs in a thriller, Josh 'the stutterer' Kennedy beats the Crows off his own boot, and the Harry O / Buckley rift seems to be on a much deeper level for Harry than if your team mate is called a lesbian by his coach. Oh yeah, and Carlton got flogged again.

Frees Against Ladder

With so many controversies this season, headed up by Essendon's Performance Enhancing Drugs saga, it is clear the current ladder must be scrapped in favour of Exhibit A, the "Frees Against" ladder.  This is only fair as the top teams on this ladder are the teams that have been crucified by Razor Ray and co., and so would have been top anyway if the umps were even half-way fair.

This ladder is bound to be far more palatable to AFL fans as the Ducks are placed where they should be - stone motherless last wooden spooners!  And the top 2 teams are those most deserving in a throwback to the late 60s - the Saints and the Blues.  It is also a timely ladder as these two play for top spot this weekend in round 16, so I can only hope the umps bring their form and penalise both teams repeatedly for absurd deliberate out of bounds and interchange errors akin to what the Cats suffered against the Hawks. It should be an intriguing affair and I'm confident Carlton can claim top spot based on current form.

And here's a special treat for success starved Blues fans; Open Mike with the Dominator. May as well live in the past cos the here and now is totally  #$%^&^%$#@.   Part 1 http://bit.ly/1aiqAMg  Part 2 http://bit.ly/16kI2YZ

Roll the round 15 highlights reel Spiros.  Read on for the latest in Uglybustards tipping results.

AFL Finals Results Week 1 - Pav's Purple Patch

Hot off the Press - Malthouse joins Blues! In a shock signing Mick Maltshake has joined Carlton. But enough of that. It's all about the #PurplePower this week, with Pavlich sinking six majors and Heave Ho Freo Way To Go booting reigning premiers Geelong out of the finals in a convincing display.  They should be a chance to bowl out the Crows in straight sets too. Likewise the Weagles' blitzing of Norf, showing great form in the last quarter, fares well for a couple of blockbusters this week, and the filth could be in a spot of bovva. But with Maxwell out the Pies have received an unexpected bonus.  Both semis could go either way.  Meanwhile the Swans and the Hawks can sit back and watch the boys beat the crap out of each other.

Spot Prize #7 is still alive for the third week. Maybe the question was a bit hard afterall.  So I'm widening the gene pool to any Uglybustards tipster. Doesn't matter if you've won before or not even entered the Prize Pool. Five $50 double passes to The Laugh Garage are up for grabs!!!

On to the highlights of week 1 of the finals before I puke. Nice bit of biffo in the Hawks / Magpies game.
Read on for Uglybustards Tipping Results and the Spot Prize question. And Condolences to John McCarthy's family for the tragedy in Las Vegas.