Tuesday, August 15, 2017

The Umpire Strikes Back R21 2017

I am compelled to backup from last week's post. One week after a specktackulaaaaahhh effort by Sam Griggs, his old man Griggsy who is a has-been umpire in the Tas footy league, who was obviously deeply offended by last week's Uglybustards column, has gone and played the joker with the five point bonus to max out with a Terwenteeeeeeeeeeeee-threeeee-White-Pointer and hit the lead in the Uglybustards 2017 Title Premiership Cup leading the race for the Uglybustards 2017 Guernsey two weeks out from finals!!!!

Yes that's right the atmosphere is electric in the Uglybustards (tm) footy comp in 2017!!!  Griggsy's hit the lead and still has a joker to play ffs. And he's also won the comp before.  WTF is it with these Griggses - they are sending me broke!  And if you look at his tips he played a joker in R2 and got 3 out of 9 and he's still bloody ended up in the lead?!?!?!  Somebody come through with an elbow to the jaw pahleeeze Cowboy or Rhino.

And spare a thought for Waimea Heights football legend PETER LEWIS who takes out this week's jackpot of $5.   One week after Sam took the $90.  But PETER is still well in Premiership contentions only one point behind Griggsy with a joker to play.

Sitting in 3rd is the new recruit, the tyro from Geelong, Travinport, who I musta put the moz on a cuppla weeks back as I thort he'd take out the comp on his debut.  Still has a joker left and still well in it, but a cuppla points behind the leaders on equal joker terms.

However, Sam Griggs is in 4th with an extra joker up his sleeve. Wudda bin kicking himself he didnt play one of his jokers this week as he got his second full card five point bonus in a row and missed out on an extra 9 points.  But still the favourite in my books.

Next is Andy, then @the_tony Anthony Aiello who have both exhausted their ammo, like me and many others, all 5 jokers gawn, and really from there I can't see anyone else in contention for the coveted crown.

The Margin comp sees BecCG finally succumb to Sam by 9 points after she's been holding him off for weeks with Rod Carter 3rd, while in the standard season comp Travinport is having a blinder in his debut season one point ahead of Sam Griggs with Griggsy, PETER LEWIS and Olles Jacyna tied for 3rd.

Remember we play right up to the GF for the ultimate Premiership Glory so there's still room for upsets and the five point bonus in the finals.  So many weeks of presha to go yet youse Uglybustards!! Yes, all of you Ugly Bustards!!! All of you!!!

But for the 2017 Uglybustards Premiership Title & Uglybustards Guernsey, imo its a race in four.

If only we had a form guide.

Oh.  As luck would have it, here is one I prepared earlier;

Current position: 1st
Points: 155
Jokers left: 1
Uglybustards odds: 30,000,000,000 to 1 (planet Earth would have a higher chance of colliding with Pluto, Micky Mouses dog)
Personal Tipping Characteristics:  Was fine until he won the 2011 comp on debut I do believe and the Uglybustards Corporation in all their wisdom corrupted this fair and just Umpire by sending a carton of Broo Beer in the post. And the bloody postage cost more than the Broo!!! However it arrived safely and caused a massive Premiership hangover in subsequent seasons. Broo can do that to you. Made startling recovery in 2017 but will crack in finals as Umpire in him comes out and tries to play fair.  Keep Safe.

Current position: 2nd
Points: 154
Jokers left: 1
Uglybustards odds: 3 to 1
Personal Tipping Characteristics:  A coloured history has influenced this likely prospect's tipping style, having been a devoted Skyhooks fan and in more recent times a devotee of Acka Dacka, religiously attending their concerts and pouring whisky on his cornflakes every morning in honour of the legendary Bon Scott.  Not to be underestimated. Likes a muddy track and has been seen bolting home from the outside lane to secure victory.  Worth a punt.

Current position: 3rd
Points: 152
Jokers left: 1
Uglybustards odds: 7.66645784 to 1 (guessing this approximation on the Uglybustards calculator)
Personal Tipping Characteristics:  Frisky young Colt in terms of Uglybustards mileage.  Geelong pedigree need I say more.  After stringent research our Uglybustards Tipping recruiters knew exactly what they were doing and have been proved right.  Intricately intwined with 2016 winner The Remonstrator Mik Barley, a bit like the Clarkson Coaching Proteges of Hawthorn, Uglybustards.com knew we were on to a good thing. So far we have been proven correct. Back with 2.34572947825% of your weekly pay.

Sam Griggs
Current position: 4th
Points: 150
Jokers left: 2
Uglybustards odds: unbackable / Champeen of the World /  hero tipster
Personal Tipping Characteristics: Likes to shoot bolt early for good lead on competition. But 2017 employed "wait and see" strategy by keeping his jokers dry. Shrewd operator.
2 jokers left for last 2 rounds (unless I've stuffed this up).
Unbackable come finals time.  Unless bullfrogs freak comeback.

Go youse Uglybaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards!!!!!

Disclamier:  This is the work of an Ugly Bustard.  After at least a six pack

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