Tuesday, June 13, 2017

2017 Prize Pool Finalised

Yes all youse Uglybaaaaaaarstaaaaaaards we are half way through the 2017 season and its the first post from the Uglybustards Administration all year!!!  There's been a ruthless cost cutting exercise by the Board who are trying to save on digital ink.  Lost my personal assistants, chauffeur and masseuse. But I will struggle on - and what a season of tipping to struggle on with! The most difficult in memory which sees Fluffy Panda hit the lead by a point over Funnybustard at the half way mark. We have a healthy prize pool of 22 entries and a good prize pool of $440. I was sorely tempted to pull up stumps and do a runner to the Bahamas!!! But I knew you'd track down Ugly Bustard's mug shot one day...

The paying entries for 2017 are;

From the backline -

BP: Andy FB: Arnold Layne BP: BecCG

HBF: Bill Griggs CHB: BUDGEWOISFINEST HBF: Funnybustard

W: gonadbreath C: Griggsy W: Lazybastard 

HFF: littlebastard CHF: Mik HFF: PETERLEWIS

FP: powerful  FF: Rhino33  FP: Rod Carter

Ruck: Sam Griggs
Ruckrover: The Boot
Rover: Tommy

Interchange: Travinport, Uglybustard, Val Perovic, Zenben

And if that isn't the most out-of-position team I'll go he for chasey.  However I do like BUDGEWOISFINEST at centre half back just because the name is so long it fills out the page. With Bill Griggs on the left and Funnybustard on the right it really sets up the backline as a dam wall that will leave the full back line of Andy & Arnold Layne rarely troubled, which is just the way they like it so their beer doesn't get spilt.  BecCG in the other back pocket I'm not sure if its a beer or a G&T but I'm sure you'd be likewise appreciative.

On to the centreline and Oh My God What The $%&^ do we have here???  This is actually my favourite line in the team.  The fittest, fastest supreme athletes of Uglybustards who wouldn't blow out a candle after 27 rounds of tipping including finals. Ex-ump Griggsy in the pivot is a strategic move to talk up the umps at every bounce, gonadbreath on the left wing and Lazybastard on the right can share the one oxygen tank  maybe filled with special substances.

The half forward line is looking exceptionally strong as it has a mix of spriteful youth in littlebastard and many years (not too many) experience in PETERLEWIS and the reigning Uglybustards Champeen Mik at Centre half forward. I'm sure he will give Dermott Brereton and Wayne Carey a lesson in how to play the most difficult position on the ground! In his 2016 Uglybustards Guernsey no doubt.

Now the full forward line is full or surprises and first up I have to mention Rhino33 who gets the nod ahead of Plugger at full forward having earned his spot against the skinny Lockett.  Rhino a well know back pocket for the Taroona High all-star team of the century will not move from the goal square so he can kick the distance without doing a hammy.  Hammy mmm hammy bacon and eggs.  To add to this coaching master-stroke we have legendary Swans full back Rod Carter yes The Tilt himself in the forward pocket!!! I honestly dont know what he's doing there.  And to round off the forward line we have powerful the ever-present and sensationally consistent margin tipping performer who is sure to take over Eddie's pocket any day now.

The Following Division contains the elite of Uglybustards tipping over the years.  Their pride in performance will see us across the line in every week of tipping for the remainder of 2017 climaxing in a Flag For the AAAAAGES!!!!  In the Ruck, Sam Griggs, dual Uglybustards Title-holder and wearer of the 2015 Uglybustards Guernsey.  Ruck Rover - The Boot, 2007 Uglybustards Champion and Son-of-Quokka (RIP), 2009 Uglybustards Champion.  (Boot, please get in touch over "The Quokka Cup" naming rights for Uglybustards Standard Season Comp).  And then we have Rover Tommy, no doubt named after Tommy Hafey, winner of the Inaugural Uglybustards Guernsey in 2014, the first time the guernsey sponsorship came through from Huru Sports Look Good Play Better after a paper napkin contract with Up The Bum, No Babies.

And finally to the bench. Yes the pine splinters up the jexy, freezing your brass monkeys off while hoping to get a run on the field, maybe lucky to get on in the last 2 mins and not touch the ball, and whey ya do get a run ya get ya face planted in mud by the opposition's fiercesome Mummy.  Travinport leads the benchwarmers as the new recruit from I think down Geelong way,  very promising but also very lucky to even get first off the bench!  Because behind him is me!!! Although I dont mind the bench as long as there's a warm blanket and thermos flask.  The Woof Val Perovic is obviously coming off a tipping injury having pressed his tipping finger through the iPad screen one too many times, while the generous and wise ZenBen knows very well he will continue to be last off the bench until the Uglybustards footy team is picked in reverse alphabetical order.

Thank you all for participating in another season and for those who made a small donation.
Go Youuuusee Uglybustaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddddddddddssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

put my on oj duties............. FUCKING VODKA AND OJ
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FUCK OFF THE oj
just voddies...........cocaines... and low class hookers
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.
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i can do that...... despite everything......and i am a handsome stud
dunno why i am in this ugly bastards comp
fucking disgrace

Stacey said...

Hamer ... will you please shut the fuck... nonono the FLYING FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!......this is a serious footy tipping competition....................yopu fucking moron................... (hey btw can i have your address in VN .. i wanna meet you ..., just for a night)